"Mr. TWIT, do you think that it is healthy to be on Facebook everyday?"
And my, oh, so witty answer was...:
"In my opinion it doesn't take long to get addicted to Facebook. They call it "Crackbook" for a reason. You know how Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, etc.)? I quite honestly think there are five stages of Facebook:
Stage 1) Dismissal "Facebook, schmascebook, I don't care to get involved."
Stage 2) Curiosity "Alright, maybe I'll try it for a little bit. I'll limit the amount of personal information I put on the site and keep my friends list tres small.."
Stage 3) Elation "Wow, look how large my friends list is! I must be really popular! This is great! I can post personal, private family photos for everyone to see! Wow! Let's see if I can contact that girl who was my best friend back it grade five. I wonder why we stopped hanging out?"
Stage 4) Realization "Why am I checking this thing every day? This is crazy! Who posted that picture of me mooning that police car? Why is that girl from grade five posting weird Scientology crap on my wall? Now I remember why we stopped hanging out... she was friggin' annoying!"
Stage 5) Acceptance "You know, if I ignore certain people long enough, they stop trying to contact me. Its like evolutionary theory... it all works out. I even went two whole days before logging in. For that, I deserve a doughnut!"
As a movie fan and dedicated father-to-be, I've been discussing/describing movie plots with my unborn child, in utero. But as we all know, movies are made for watching, not for describing. So I present to you a list of movies, I feel, any child of a movie fan should immediately watch and gain an appreciation for (Is that even a proper sentence?).
5) Genre: Action Raiders of the Lost Ark
The first movie my father took me and my brother to see in a real, honest-to-goodness movie theatre was to see Raiders of the Lost Ark. Obviously he didn't screen it first because the face melting scene at the end really messed us all up. But see, the best thing about Raiders is that it has an almost pitch perfect mix of action, comedy, romance and horror. That combination is why so many of us remember it with such fondness.
4) Genre: Animation
My Neighbour Totoro
There's only one name for animation allowed in my house: "Miyazaki"!
Ummm... wait, only two names for animation allowed in my house: "Miyazaki" and "Pixar"!
Ummm... hold up a second, only three names: "Miyazaki", "Pixar" and "Chuck Jones"!
A little over a year ago, while I was hammering away at another blog on sheer crap-titude of the movie 300 , I put forth a list of rules that make a superhero movie successful. One of those rules was that the supervillain had to be somewhat sympathetic. The idea is that a bad guy you can sympathize with is the scariest kind of bad guy, because if you can relate their point of view, you are easier to seduce, and thus emotionally complicit with some of the acts they commit. Like all rules, this one should be tested rigorously for validity, so I submit to you the profile of three villains making some waves in recent pop culture as case study for the Sympathetic Supervillain rule.
Case Study #1 - Dr Horrible, from Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog.
Pro's
good singer;
sweetly goofy;
has nice taste in women;
has an underdog quality that make you wanna root for him;
wants to change the world
Con's
wants to change the world, but through evil;
his arch nemesis is a pretty-boy, prima-donna lunkhead;
embrace of video blogging makes it easy to foil evil schemes;
has supremely bad timing with women.
It's not hard to sympathize with Dr. Horrible. Even though he's the bad guy, we still root for him, because he... is Us. He's the put-downable, the down-trodded-ed, the nerd who always gets beaten and never gets the girl. At some point in our lives (oh, like in high school, maybe?) we've all been Dr. Horrible.
We get him.
We are him.
That's what makes the first two episodes of Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog so charming (the acting, and song-writing should be commended). And that's what makes the last episode so sad. The turn of events in the last episode gets the viewer, because the viewer has invested a lot of sympathy in... with... Dr. Horrible, we root for him as the underdog, and then in the final act, we feel partially responsible with the consequences of his actions.
Overall the series is short, but really affecting, and as a villain, Dr. Horrible is pretty compelling.
Case Study #2 - Dexter, from Dexter.
Pro's
really, really clean;
really, really good at his job;
really, really good boyfriend, brother and father-surrogate;
really, really good with scalpels and power tools.
Con's
serial killer in his spare time;
has a dark raging black hole of a soul that is periodically filled by the torment of his victims;
lives in Miami.
Dexter: forensics expert by day, serial killer by night. But get this... he's a good serial killer. He only goes after others like him.
Funny enough, the things that makes Dexter a great killer are the same things we look for in a comic superhero. He's charming, efficient and good at bringing evil-doer's to justice. Well... only if you consider "justice" to be torture, dismemberment and burial in a deep sea grave. He has his mild-mannered alter ego (quirky but efficient blood-splatter expert for the Miami police by day), he has a costume (when Dexter hunts, he's prone to wearing black jeans, black knit-shirts and black hoodies), and a nifty utility belt (his medical tools are housed in a really nice, tan, leather satchel). In many ways the conceit of the TV show Dexter is a deconstruction of the typical superhero story. The tension in the story lies not in rationalizing the various violent acts Dexter commits. It lies in the common superhero trope: Will Dexter's boss, family, girlfriend find out what he does in the dark watches of the night?
We sympathize with Dexter through his plight. He, like we, has secrets that we fear might alarm polite society. The funny thing is, as each episode goes by, we come to realize that the other people in Dexter's world, his sister, his co-workers, his lover, maybe even his father, have deep dark secrets that pale next his his own.
Case Study #3 - The Joker, from The Dark Knight.
Pro's
uh... none!
Con's
designed to evoke your antipathy;
twitching, asymmetrical posture
diseased facial paint and scarring,
dissonant voice from Perdition,
greasy hair (you can practically see the bugs flying around amongst the strands).
Despite the Con's, for some reason, people love the Joker. He's sexy. Hell, even Batman can find it in himself to kill the him, despite the fact the Joker more than deserves it.
The question is why. Why is the Joker so compelling?
Maybe because we're attracted to power. Maybe we're attracted to the dark things. The Joker amoral, anarchic and totally devoid of simple human empathy. He is the Batman's complete psychological Other. While Batman has a rational origin, the Joker is irrationality brought life. It's as if Gotham City itself organically hatched a maniacal Dionysus in response the Batman Apollonian existence. In other words, The Joker is the city, the environment balancing it's scales. Maybe we're attracted to Joker because were attracted to the same irrationality that resides within us. Maybe the Batman saves the Joker in the end because he... (read: "we")... need him.
To paraphrase Alan Moore, without the Joker, the Batman is just some nutcase who shows up to a brawl wearing a mask with pointy ears. Keep in mind even while fighting to uphold societies laws, the Batman, a vigilante, breaks them. The notion of superheroism cannot support itself for long unless you got some really, crazy, clown distracting the general population from the fact that you are just a slightly less crazy goon.
So my friends, send in the clowns! Send in the charming killers, the hatchers of evil-plots, and the doer's of manic misdeeds. Call them "villains" if you must, but know this... to someone, somewhere... they are the true hero's.
My orignial plan was to blog about about the following:
2008 being the Summer of the Superhero (because of Iron Man,The Incredible Hulk, the new Batman, and Dr Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog, etc.); and
A deconstruction of the role of the Supervillan, by comparing Neil Patrick Harris' "Dr. Horrible" to Heath Ledger's "Joker".
But right now I am a bit dissolusioned about discussing anything Batman related because of the Christian Bale arrest, so, instead, I present to you a review of YouTube's Best Remixes.
Number 5 - "Shining"
The Shining directed by Cameron Crowe instead of Stanley Kubrick. Apparantly the key difference between horror and feel-good family comedy is putting Peter Gabriel's "Solsbury Hill" in your soundtrack.
Number 4 - "Brokeback to the Future"
This makes me giggle.
Number 3 - "ROFLMAO"
A Muppet Show classic remixed by World of Warcraft. Cute.
Number 2 - "Scary Mary"
Mary Poppins = Devil Spawn.
Number 1 - "Bert and Ernie tries Gangsta Rap"
And the video that inspired this blog in the first place. Thank you AV Club:Videocracy! Bert and Ernie represent that Seseme Street, son!
Hello folks! Time for another review of the comics I'm reading this month. As always, these comics will be evaluated on what I will call, "The Jeneric Scale". Basically, I'll review the comic and then let you know if it is worthy to be read by either Jenni or Eric, or both, or neither.
1) Wanted by Mark Millar and J.G. Jones. Top Cow Comics
Wesley Gibson suffers a million little humiliations every day. His job sucks, his co-workers hate him, his girlfriend is sleeping with his best friend and he's bullied every day on the way home by the neighborhood toughs. All this changes when he finds out that he's the sole heir of a superhuman assassin, and he's been recruited to carry on the family business.
This is the avatar of adolescent escapist fantasy. It's violent, juvenile and amoral. It's also some of the best comic writing of late, with a premise to die for. Mark Millar's tale was inspired by his bigger brother, who one day told the younger Mark that all his favourite comic book hero's once existed in real life, but the were all killed by the supervillans. The sheer nihilism presented in this book proves that sibling trauma makes fertile ground for future writers. This book is the logical extension of the media changing concepts introduced in Alan Moore's The Watchmen and Frank Millar's The Dark Knight Returns. The ending, which consists of the main character breaking the fourth wall, is a doozy.
Suggested for (Jenni or Eric?): Neither, actually. It's a good book, but I'm not taking any responsibility for recommending this book to anybody. They're going to have to approach this one on their own.
PS: The movie version of Wanted was released this weekend with Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy. Slate.com reviews highly recommend the movie for S&M aficionados. Something tells me that this ain't no "date movie".
2) Y:The Last ManVolume 10: Whys and Wherefores by Brian K. Vaughan and Pia Guerra. Vertigo Comics
Brilliant end to a brilliant miniseries. The best road adventure since the Wizard of Oz. I've been waiting for this book to come out for a long while and although I have some minor problems with the plotting and pacing of some of the last issues, overall the reading experience was quite satisfactory.
Suggested for: Jenni, although I am betting she already got herself a copy by now.
3) Path of the Assassin by Kazuo Koike & Goseki Kojima
It took me a while to get into this book. A somewhat fictionalized historic account of the rise of Japan's Tokugawa empire, this series is another entry into Koike's and Kojima's Edo period books (i.e., Lone Wolf and Cub and Samurai Assassin). Full of political intrigue and suspense. Don't confuse this one for a kids book. It deals with adult situations and the depictions of violence and sex may not be appropriate for everybody. But think of it as a full-blooded presentation of The Art of War.
Suggested for: Eric. He'll appreciate the details.
4) Planet Hulk by Greg Pak. Marvel Comics
I'm having so much fun with this title. Basically a retelling of Spartacus, except with the Hulk. Each issue gets better and better. The writing is top notch. Hulk titles haven't been this good since Todd McFarlane took the reins way back in the late 80's.
Recommended for: Both Jenni and Eric. Because HULK SMASH!!!
5) Secret Invasion by Brian Michael Bendis and Leinil Yu. Marvel Comics
Ever since the days of Crisis on the Infinite Earths, both DC and Marvel have presented an annual summer cross-over event that shakes up their individual universes. Last year Marvel had the lackluster Civil War storyline, that didn't do much other than to piss of fans. This year's Secret Invasion totally makes up for the previous crap.
The synopsis: A race of shape-shifting aliens called the Skrulls have infiltrated all of Earths defenses and has initiated a hostile takeover of our planet. They mean to wipe out all humans and repopulate Earth as their new throne-world. Normally Earth's Mightiest Superheroes would nip this in the bud, except, some of them are Skrulls in disguise. These sleeper agents have successfully reaped the seeds of doubt sown amongst the heroes during the Civil War crisis, and now nobody knows who to trust.
Usually these summer cross-over events are just a marketing ploy to get fans to buy all the associated titles. But this time around, the core Secret Invasion title is creepily suspenseful and very satisfying. You don't need to buy all the cross-overs to make this one work.
Suggested for: Both Jenni and Eric. Because it's just that good!
In the beginning, God created the action hero in his own image. And when I say "God", I mean that Old Testament God. He of the plagues and the burning bushes. Thus, John Wayne was born.
"Duke". The All-American Icon. The man, who according to movie history, practically single-handedly tamed the Wild West and won the second World War, armed with a six shooter and a wild right hook. Duke was big in stature, and had the chiseled, square jaws befitting a classic hero. The avatar of everything we're lead to believe about manhood. Duke performed in a world completely devoid of grey areas. Black and White only. The bad guys either wore black hats or spoke and English-accent that stood for "German". The good guys were... well Duke himself. Everybody else was sheep. And thus God was pleased.
But Man had a different idea. Man created a new action hero in his own image. His name was Humphrey Bogart.
Bogie was short, scarred and spoke with a lisp. He didn't look like a classic hero, in fact in the early part of his career he was often cast as the bad guy. Murderers and gangster roles. Bogie lived in a world of grey, and knew what it took to survive. And that's what what made him so belivable to audiences. He was a survivor first, and quite often he was reluctant to demonstrate any heroics. He would only act when he was forced to betray a deep underlying code of honor.
So here we have the two symbols of of the modern action hero. The Duke's iconic approach has been successfully co-opted by other actors such as Arnold Schwarzenegger (Commando, Predator) , Sylvester Stallone (Rambo, Rocky) and Stephen Segal (Hard to Kill, Above the Law, and a bunch of other crappy movies with three word titles). Bogie's role as the conflicted, reluctant hero has been appropriated by Bruce Willis (Die Hard), Mel Gibson (The Road Warrior, Lethal Weapon) and Brad Pitt (Legends of the Fall). The purpose of this blog is to discuss three movies in my DVD library that demonstrate the evolution of the action hero from the old fashioned, All-American icon, to the more interesting and believable reluctant hero.
Big Trouble In Little China, 1986. Director, John Carpenter.
This DVD contains one of the best audio commentaries in movie history. Director John Carpenter and lead actor Kurt Russell's discussion is amiable and friendly, more a casual chat between two old-dog Hollywood insiders that not only is fun to listen to, but chock full of information for film fans. For example, Russell modeled his character, Jack Burton, after the Duke himself. The speech pattern, over-confident swagger and traditional, All-American mind-set.
But the movie undercuts all of this with a simple staggering fact. Jack Burton's excess of ego and limited smarts blinds him to the fact that he's not the "hero". The true hero of the movie is his pal Wang Chi, while Jack is an unwitting second banana. The movie is a satire of the jingoistic, over-wrought action blockbusters that plagued us during the 1980's. Jack honestly thinks he's Rambo, but really he's Elmer Fudd. Not once, during the whole movie does he clue in.
Pure genius.
This movie should be considered the first step in the evolution of the modern action hero because here is where we saw all the faults with the classic hero paradigm. In the classic hero paradigm, the image is valued more than the true reality. If you dig just a little bit behind the image, you quickly see that there is nothing real behind enough to support it. Sure, John Wayne played a great soldier, but did you know he never enlisted? He didn't outright dodge the draft, but he allowed himself to hide behind his celebrity status to avoid serving during WWII. Hell, even Bogie enlisted (he was a Navy man). The Duke was just an Iowa-boy, whose real first name was "Marion".
There is a scene in Big Trouble that encapsulates this whole concept of image over substance. In the moments immediately prior the final, climactic, battle of the movie. Jack Burton stands on the ready line with a whole army of good guys, facing the enemy hordes. The good guys shout their war cry, and Jack, caught up in the extacy of the approaching battle fires his machine gun in the air. The bullets from the machine gun tears apart chucks of of brick from an overhead arch. The bricks strike Jack in the head, knocking him out stone cold. Thus while the rest of his buddies battle, Jack spends most of the final battle flat on his back.
Again, pure genius.
The Bourne Identity, 2002. Director, Doug Liman.
The Bourne Identity is all about duality. Everything you think you know about the movie is different from the actuality. It's an action movie, but is has more intelligence than most of the drama's made during the same year. It's a cold war era thriller, but something about the movie makes it resonate with post-911 political intrigue.
This duality is expressed by the character of Jason Bourne. The brain-washing gives Bourne the abilities of the classic mythical hero. When faced with danger, Bourne thinks fast, acts fast, is superhumanly strong and undeniably capable. But anytime the character is faced with emotion, he's lost, indecisive and weak.
So here, in one character, we have elements of the two hero archetypes. We have a man programmed to be super-human, just like John Wayne, but his amnesia, his lack of identity, actually makes him weak and conflicted and human, just like Bogie. If you think about it, it's quite easy to understand why the franchise is so popular. With Bourne, we get a two-fer, thus pleasing both God and Man.
Children of Men, 2006. Director, Alfonso Cuarón.
Theo Faron, the character played by Clive Owen is the new breed of action hero, perfect for the post-911 world. Theo is us, the everyman. He is weak, he is compromised, and he is quite happy to look the other way while the world slowly turns to shit. This guy is stripped bare, he is the antithesis of any hero we've ever seen in the movies. He's not proactive, the guy doesn't have superpowers or wicked fighting skills, and in seeming disregard to the most basic action movie trope, the guy never picks up a gun. Not once does he ever touch a gun during the whole movie. To further demonstrate his symbolic emasculation there is a long sequence where he has to resort to wearing flip flops for footwear. I mean, flip-flops, man. Even Jack Burton had some cool-ass cowboy boots.
External circumstances force Theo to make the transition from sheep to reluctant hero. And the funny thing is, that the moment he decides to be proactive, these same circumstances conspire to make things way more difficult for him than necessary.
Take for instance the scene where he, Kee and Miram make their escape from the farm. The car he chooses to leave in cannot start by the ignition alone. It has to be rolled up to speed and then jump started. Thus you get one of the most riveting, suspenseful chase scenes ever recorded where Theo has to push a car loaded with two women up and down a mud path while being chased by a half-dozen armed terrorists. He pushes, the car rolls and he gains a bit of lead from the bad guys, but he hits a mud patch, and the car slows, too slow for the engine to turn over. So he jumps out an begins to push. Miriam jumps in the front seat and turns the key, accidentally hitting the brakes at the same time, further slowing the car and still the engine won't turn. Theo yells at her to release the brakes, the car starts to roll faster, but the terrorists have almost caught up. Luckily they hit a steep grade and the car rolls even faster, but Theo, is so exhausted he can hardly catch up. And on it goes.
Children of Men is not only a great post-911 thriller, it's also a revitalization of the sci-fi genre. It forgoes the current interpretation of sci-fi (laser guns and space jump suits) and presents us with a more respectful approach to the genre, rooted in tradition of John Whydam. This depiction of the future feels real, because it's a plausible extrapolation of current conditions.
The heroics demonstrated by Theo, particularly at the end of the film feels equally real. An ordinary man placed in an extraordinary situation. He has the same chances of success or failure that anyone of us would have in that same situation. He may not look like a hero, and most times he hardly acts like a hero... but despite all his weakness, he approaches a point where he has to make a choice. It's at that point where he, and we by extension, can fleetingly approach our truest and noblest potential. Sometimes, my friends, that is all it takes to become a hero.
I have a friend who has sworn personal vow against Leonardo DiCaprio. Apparently, some time ago, she saw an episode of "Growing Pains" on TV, saw Leo act (way back when he was a kid) and thought he was so awful that she refused to watch anything else with him in it. It's a shame because watching Leo (as Howard Hughes) descend into a bottomless pit of compulsion, madness and despair is quite entertaining.
Also Cate Blanchette as Katharine Hepburn is divine!
Before Sunrise, 1995. Before Sunset, 2004. Director: Richard Linklater.
We all are familiar with the saying "Love at first sight". It's a common romantic pastiche, but I don't really hold to it. In my experience the truest test of love is the conversation. People I know tend to fall in love during those rambling 3-hour long, late night talks you have with your significant other at some early point in the relationship. It's at that point you start thinking: "Hey, I could spent my life with this person." And why not, 'cause when you get down to it, a long-term relationship is basically one long, never-ending conversation. Divorce is just another way of realizing you have nothing else of value to say to one another.
Before Sunrise and Before Sunset is about two people falling in love during a conversation lasting two nights over nine years.
What I really like is how that conversation evolves. In the first movie, the two characters Jesse (played by Ethan Hawke) and Celine (played by hot-ass Julie Delpy) meet on a train travelling towards Vienna. As they initially engage in their conversation, the dialogue subtly off-key, as if they are waiting to speak instead of listening to each other. But the point where they connect is when Jesse speaks of having a vision of his recently deceased grandmother. Later on in the movie, Celine cites that monologue as the point she really begins to fall for Jesse.
It's interesting how in Before Sunset, a situation with Cecile's grandmother eventually has significant consequences later on in the relationship. The one thing that 'causes her to connect with Jesse is the same thing that causes a major disconnect six months later. And it's also interesting how much chemistry the two characters seem to have, and how their connection survives a 9-year gap in between both movies.
I have three favorite scenes in the sequel. 1) The scene on the boat where Jesse drops the polite, trite facade and asks the question that we, the audience, have been waiting so long to ask; 2) The scene in the limo where Celine loses it; and 3) the very last scene in Celine's apartment (especially Jesse's last line). For some reason, my wife, Teresa, thought that the movie ended on an ambiguous note. For me, the movie couldn't be more "biguous". I think most guys would agree choice between catching a flight to Newark or watching the bouncing joys of Julie Delpy's Parisian butt, ain't no choice at all.
...Except for me, 'cause I like Teresa's butt better.
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