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Now even though the hard-won, grueling presidential campaign is over, it's time to get down to business. It's time to ask some tough questions. And here is the most important question to be asked during Barack Obama's tenure as Commander-In- Chief:
Who is going to play him in the Inevitable Spike Lee Joint?
Here are my top five suggestions
5) Fred Arminsen
Okay, I only suggested this guy to immediately rule him out. Much has been made this year about Tina Fey's imitation of Sarah Palin during this season's episodes of Saturday Night Live. I would like to voice my utter disgust with Fred Arminsen's imitation of Obama. It just sucks
Really.
And it also proves a personal point of mine. Comedians should not be chosen to portray Obama in the Inevitable Spike Lee Joint. No Chris Rock. No Jamie Foxx. Nuh-uh!
Why?
Because Barack Obama isn't funny.
He may be eloquent and inspiring at the podium, and he's obviously going to go down in history as a great president, but he just plain ain't funny. In fact, the few verbal gaffes he made during the campaign were during times he was trying to tell a joke.
Next choice.
4) Denzel Washington.
Denzel could do a great job portraying a President Obama. Well, at least the young Denzel, the "Dark Gable" Denzel from A Soldier's Story and The Mighty Quinn would do very well. The Denzel from Man on Fire and American Gangster is just too plain old
3) Chiwetel Ejiofor
Superb actor! This guy would to a great job. Only problem: Nobody knows who he is. You need a major star for the Inevitable Spike Lee Joint
2) Don Cheadle
Personally, the best choice acting wise. This guy has a reputation amongst other great actors like Brad Pitt and George Clooney. They call him "The Scene Stealer", out of great respect. He always brings his "A" game. Just take a look at his debut as "Mouse" in Devil in A Blue Dress. He was so good that even Denzel had a hard time keeping up
1) Will Smith
Although I personally like Cheadle, Will Smith will inevitably play Barack Obama in the Inevitable Spike Lee Joint fir several reasons:
a)He's a major, bankable movie star, arguably the biggest;
b)Just the promise of him playing the role would put many butts in the seat;
c)After watching Pursuit of Happyness (a must-see for any new father), I really have a soft spot for guy;and
d)No need for make-up, ear-wise...
Now imagine if Will Smith plays Obama as the first Black President to save the planet from and alien invasion... that would be the most popular movie ever! I vote James Cameron to direct!
Also, since I'm in a 'blogging mood, I would like to offer Barack Obama the following unsolicited advice:
1) Refrain from visiting anywhere south of Maryland for the first year or so. Let those people chill out for a bit and get used to the idea...
2) If there is still a convertible in the Presidential motor pool, get rid of it.
3) Whatever you do, don't try to write your own jokes. In fact, forget telling any jokes. Just keep on with the eleven minute inspirational speeches.
4) Don't be like Bush and screw Canada out of the traditional first presidential visit to another country. I mean, even though we couldn't officially do anything about it, it just plan pisses us off!
5) Listen, man... for the first few weeks or so, the White House press corps will give you a really hard time. They do that to everybody. Back in the Clinton days, they literally made George Stephanopoulos cry. Just hang in there and ride the wave...
6) Listen, man... in the first few months or so, some terrorist whack job will try to give you a hard time. They do that to everybody. Send Sam Jackson over there to get medieval on their asses...
7) The American people need to have confidence in the economy right quick. To help promote spending, I highly recommend hiring Puff Daddy and the Wu-Tang Clan to your economic cabinet as soon as possible. The resulting demand for diamond-clad spinning rims would turn the US auto industry around in a hot minute.
8) Legalize weed.
9) Legalize gay marriages.
10)You might as well start smoking cigarettes again. Being President is stressful and you need some sort of vice to release the pressure. As far as I am concerned, smoking is much better for your approval ratings than banging unstable interns.
