Watchmen Review

(Visit my blog at www.twit-akw.blogspot.com to see the embedded video.)

The Watchmen has been reviewed ad nauseum, and I'm somewhat hesitant of adding my opinion to the clamour, especially after Patton Oswalt's defense (visit http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=67077201&blogId=475266763). For the sake of brevity, here's my bullet-point review of the Watchmen:

It was good. Not great, but the best film adaptation of the graphic novel possible. The graphic novel is the better product, but the movie rocks.

It was long, and detailed, which was good for fans of the graphic novel, but tried the patience of the general movie going audience.

Acting wise, Malin Ackerman and Mathew Good were not as bad as everybody else says.

Jackie Earl Healy was a great Rorschach. Patrick Wilson was a great Nite Owl.

The soundtrack and score were both way too over the top, and were the chief detriments to the movie.

All in all, a great effort by all involved, including Zack Snyder.

I watched the film with four of my friends, of which all but one had read the graphic novel previous to viewing the film. Our post-viewing discussion touched on the fight scenes. A couple of my friends didn't think much of them and thought they were gratuitous. I, on the other hand, really liked them and thought they served a key purpose. The fight scenes, specifically the fighting styles used by each individual character provided clues to characterization that I (geek that I am) found fascinating. For example:

The Comedian's Fighting Style: Classic American Brawler

The Comedian started his crime-fighting career cleaning up New York's riverside docks so his style is consists mainly of fist-blows backed by power provided by his muscular physique. He uses intimidation, weaponry and dirty-fighting techniques to give him the upper hand against his opponents. He's always grabbing for weaponry, recognizing the advantage of force multipliers like knives, make-shift clubs and guns. He fight on instinct and emotion which works when he's on the winning side. But he's old, slow, prone to making mistakes out of desperation when he starts to lose. His murder kicks off the story's plot line.



Rorshach's Fighting Style: Suicidal Street Fighter

If city is an urban jungle, Rorschach is the meanest, cruelest cat on the block. He's not the lion. He's the cat that makes the lion slink away in terror with its tail curled down around it balls for protection. Rorshach is shorter and slighter than his crime fighting companions, but he makes up for this disadvantage in three ways:

He fights nasty (boxing backed up by a kitchen sink assortment knee's elbows and kicks).

He uses his environment as a weapon (the way he moves up and down vertical height's is reminiscent of free-running/Parkour, and he uses makeshift weapons culled from generic household items).

He's fucking psychotic.

Never fight a guy who doesn't care about dying? You could break all his limbs and he would still bite. He's a killer, straight and simple, and his uncompromising, black and white morality, and severe death wish more than makes up for any physical shortcomings. Given that, his ultimate fate is not that surprising.


Nite Owl's Fighting Style: Efficient, Scientific Hand to Hand Style.

After a decade of government-mandated retirement, the Nite Owl seems to have softened around the edges and grown himself a respectable spare tire. But there's a lot of power behind that bulk. Plus, as a scientist, he understands the value of incapacitating his opponents with one strike, especially when fighting against greater numbers. Nite Owl aims for his opponents weak spots, preferring to shatter knees, shins and elbow joints in order to quickly deal with an opponent, and to make sure that opponent cannot get up again to do him harm. Although he's the a technophile, he rarely uses offensive weaponry, preferring a brutal, punishing hand to hand combat reminiscent of Okinawan karate.

Silk Spectre's Fighting Style: She's Got Legs and She Knows How to Use 'Em.

As the only female crime fighter of the bunch, Silk Spectre has to maximise use of her natural assets: specifically her long legs. She employs a kicking style, similar to Korean martial arts. She deploys wheel kicks with precision timing, ensuring opponents feel the full, devastating effect of her force at it's maximum arc. Although she eschews the dirty fighting techniques that makes Rorshach such a formidable opponent, she's not adverse to close fighting using her elbow's and knees. When pushed, she will use weaponry, which gives some hint to her crime fighting linage. It may be a man's world, but this woman is able to hold her own quite effectively.



Dr. Manhattan's Fighting Style: None.

God's don't fight. They simply wave a hand and their opponents disintegrate. He's cold, dispassionate and he kills at a distance with a God's impunity.


Ozymandias's Fighting Style: The Ultimate Martial Artist.

He may be the smartest man in the world, and he's certainly the most dangerous. His back story includes years of travelling around Asia, learning every bit of martial theory he could. As a result, he has access to every style of martial art ever invented. But what makes him truly formidable as a fighter is how perceptive he is. Ozy observational skills makes him so intuitive, he borders on precognitive. How do you fight an opponent who can anticipate your next move based on minute shift in eye glances and body position? How do you kill a person who can read a bullet's ultimate trajectory before you even shoot? It's almost fitting that Ozy is such a voyeur, who reads the shifts in the cultural climate by watching fifty different television programs on fifty different TV screens all at one. He sees all, and he knows, man... he knows...

All Time Best - Hip-Hop 101

(Visit my blog at www.twit-akw.blogspot.com to see all the embedded music videos)

Okay, a friend of mine posted the following comment on Facebook:

"I do not consider rap, a type of music. And I think that sampling in rap music should be illegal, because they always pick the good songs and then ruin them. Example: Coldplay ft. Jay-Z - Lost!"
--Laura S.

I, being a long time hip-hop fan, pretty much blasted her ass in a classic, beautiful, long, angry, ranting comment, which I will not recreate here. The gist of my rant was that although it is okay to not like hip-hip/rap, it's damn irresponsible to dismiss it as an art form. Frankly, her comment really pissed me off.

A couple of days later, I cooled off a bit and remembered the following bit of advice from good ol' Jay-Z:

"A wise man once told me don't argue with fools,
'cause people from a distance can't tell who is who"
--Jay-Z, Takeover

And I realized that I showed a fair amount of ignorance by blasting poor little Laura in my rant. I also realized that her comment was made more out of innocence, 'cause somehow, she missed out the last thirty years of some of the best music in the world. Living out in the boondocks will do that to ya.

Thus in an effort to educate young Laura S., I present the following history lesson, sort of like a primer, that one may use to gain a new appreciation (and maybe even respect) of the art form known as: hip-hop.

10) Sugarhill Gang, "Rapper's Delight"

Once upon a time, way back in the Year of Our Lord 1979, Debbie Harry from the rock group Blondie and Niles Rodgers from the disco group Chic, went out to a New York club to view a "hip-hop" and break-dancing event. The DJ at the event started playing the breakdown section of Chic's "Good Times". A spunky little rapper named Fab Five Freddy started freestyling to the song, and was quickly joined by his crew, known as the Sugarhill Gang. Debbie was so impressed by the rapper's skills she wrote the song "Rapture", describing the event. The Sugarhill Gang went on to record "Rapper's Delight", outright sampling Niles's song. Niles was pissed at first, but when the song became the first hip-hop song to top the music charts, he acknowledged that the song was "as innovative and important" to the music world as "Good Times".



This song is roundly considered the first song to popularize hip-hop in the United States.


9) Aerosmith and Run DMC, "Walk This Way"

Back in the day, hip-hop was Black and heavy metal was White and never the twain would meet. Black people disdained heavy metal and white folks wouldn't listen to "that rap crap". Then one day, heavy metal bad boys, Aerosmith, joined ranks with old-school hip-hop ambassadors, Run DMC, and with a little help from uber-producer Rick Rubin (remember that name my friends) created this wonderful little ditty:

Visit this link to see the video.

The fan's response? Well, rock boys from Aerosmith's home town, Boston, threatened to set fire to any radio station that would dare play the song. Some black folks thought Run DMC was selling out. But, eventually, cooler heads prevailed, and both black and white were forever joined in eternal, musical harmony.

8) Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff, "Parent's Just Don't Understand"

The first hip-hop song to win a Grammy Award. No swearing either.

Visit this link to see the video.

I wonder what ever happened to that Fresh Prince fellow...

7) Beastie Boys, "Paul Revere"

In 1986, the Religious Right began to worry about the effect that "Black music" was having on the nation's youth. Then along came the Beastie Boys.

Holy shit...



Remember that Rick Rubin guy. He produced the song.

6) Queen Latifah, "U.N.I.T.Y."

If you were wondering if there were any lady hip-hoppers, I invite you to Wikipedia and YouTube the following names: Roxanne Shante, Monie Love, MC Lyte, (Toronto's own) Michie Mee, Missy Elliot, the amazing Lauren Hill, Salt n' Pepa, (who added a lot of much needed female flava to the scene) and the First Queen of Hip-Hop:

Visit this link to see the video.

5) Public Enemy, "Fight the Power"

In the late '80's and early '90's, the hip-hop scene was full of Black Consciousness. The son's and daughters of the '60's revolution discovered that hip-hop was a powerful medium through which one could inspire a political movement within the Black Community. Chuck D from the group Public Enemy called hip-hop, "the Black man's CNN".



These brother's just didn't play! Public Enemy blasted on the scene and almost single-handedly moved the progress of Black people ahead five years.

4) MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice.

And these two motherfuckers set us back fifteen years.





3) Notorious B.I.G and Tupac Shakur
Known for being both profane and profound, Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur were two of the best rappers in recent memory. Their bitter feud and the resulting murders were tragedies that threatened the foundations of rap music. In both life and death, they represented a crucial turning point for the hip-hop culture. They would set the standard against which all future rappers would be measured.



2) The Alternative Hip Hop Scene

After the debacle of the so-called East Coast/West Coast feud, and the death of Tupac and Biggie, hip-hop diversified. There was the commercial side of rap music, which promoted a free-spending, material and misogynistic lifestyle to urban and suburban youth. And then there was an alternative, underground scene, where creativity flourished almost in secret. The proponents underground scene pumped new lifeblood into hip-hop. Some of key players of the scene include (but are not limited to):

• The Native Tongues (A Tribe Called Quest, Jungle Brothers, De La Soul, Black Sheep, Leaders of the New School. etc.)
• Philadelphia's Roots Crew
• Dead Presidents
• Mos Def
• Talib Kweli
• Erykah Badu;
  
• Jurassic 5; and
  
• Outkast

These people were responsible for bringing hip-hop back from the brink. In 2004, comedian Dave Chappelle brought some of they key players together for a once-in-a-lifetime concert, which was documented in the movie Dave Chappelle's Block Party. This is hip-hop's graduating class, y'all, and this movie is a must-see for any true hip-hop fan.



1) Hip-Hop's Refugee's

The term "hip-hop" is more than just term for a type of music. Hip-hop is cultural movement, with very specific codes and mores. Hip-hop has a world-wide following, and it's proponents use every aspect of this movement to express them selves. You can tell a hip-hopper by the way they speak, what they read, the way they dress, the way they conduct business. The art form surrounds us, and it pervades our lives in may unseen ways. Barack Obama could rightly be called the first Hip-Hop President, because he, like many of us, grew up immersed in the culture. But, even more profound, is the fact that hip-hop's world wide ambassadors have taken up the challenge of moving the art form into the new century. Some of these ambassadors are:

• Cypress Hill
• The 'Fugees
• The Black Eyed Peas
• DJ Q-Bert
• MC Solaar
• Dilated Peoples
• Matisyahu

The newest kid on the scene is Toronto's (by way of Somalia) K'naan, who's new album dropped just yesterday. Check him out kid:



So Laura, there's your starter lesson. Go forth, young one, because the journey of a thousand steps.... blah, blah, blah....

I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

(Visit http://www.twit-akw.blogspot.com/ to see the videos embedded in this blog.)

I'm a sucker for love stories. In my opinion there is a very big difference between a love story and a "girly flick". Love stories are complex and varied. They can be about falling in love, falling out of love, unrequited love, obsessive love. When Harry Met Sally is about romantic love. The Terminator is about redemptive love. Aliens is about parental love. Kill Bill is about destructive love. It all good to me.

Girly flicks are generally about superficial love. Some may have the semblance of complexity, but if you think about it, the main characters tend to be more archetypes rather fully fleshed entities. Maid in Manhattan, Pretty Woman, and The Princess Diaries are all examples of girly flicks. And they have their place. They are like potato chips thoroughly enjoyable, but the are ersatz, wafer thin confections that are ultimately unhealthy if ingested in large amounts.

I've watched a couple of love stories lately, and had some thoughts about them.

Vicky Christina Barcelona (2008, dir. Woody Allen)

Cinefiles tend to praise Woody Allen films but I generally find them hard to like. Technically they are great, the cinematography is amazing, but it's the stories that put me off. He leans towards love stories, but his depictions of love is very difficult, almost too real for my taste. Vicky Christina Barcelona is a great example. Like other Woody Allen movies, it's a love story between beautiful, creative and artistic, but ultimately selfish, people.



Javier Bardem is really the best part of this movie. God, what man wouldn't love to have his confidence and charm. Who else could get away with proposing a three way just after introducing himself to two beautiful women, and have them seriously entertain the idea. The man is just plain sexy. Too bad the other actors weren't as appealing. I found Vicky (played by Rebecca Hall) too remote, Christina (played by Scarlett Johansson) too annoying and Maria (played by Penelope Cruz) just plain psycho. Of the three female lead characters, Penelope Cruz was by far, the better actor, but I don't know if that was an Academy Award worthy role.

In all, I thought the movie was just okay, but it confirmed my opinion that Woody Allen films are just not my cup of tea.

Normal, (2003, dir. Jane Anderson)



I could write a synopsis about this movie, but I think the trailer explains it much better.



You would be surprised how sweet and funny this movie is. It has such a great heart and really romantic performances from Tom Wilkinson and Jessica Lange. It's about the healing power of love, and how it can help transcend certain boundaries. It's less about transsexualism and more about asking your family to accept who you really are. I highly recommend it.

Watch "Men's Night Out"

Okay, I'm on the record for having some hesitation to Zack Snyder directing The Watchmen, based on his previous comic book to film adaptation of 300, which was visually stunning, but the acting was pretty hambone.

The Watchmen comic is like, the Rosetta Stone of modern comics, and it was notoriously hard to adapt into film. Terry Gilliam, Darren Aranofsky and Paul Greengrass tried it, and subsequently abandoned it. At one point, Robin Williams was named as a possible Rorschach, and Keanu Reeves was named as a possible Dr. Manhattan. Despite all these big names, the movie remained in development hell for quite a while, which may not have been a bad thing for long-time fans of the graphic novel. It just seemed like the whole movie was a bit out of Zack Snyder's league.


But, the viral marketing campaign has got me re-thinking my original position a bit. It's obvious that Snyder takes the import of the whole undertaking seriously, and has immersed himself in the world of The Watchmen. Take for instance this film clip:



I really dig the whole cheap-o, classroom filmstrip feel. It also is a creative way to evoke the Macarthy Era-like paranoia, which is a key theme of the graphic novel. Also the way Rorschach is captured in a way that reminds us that infamous Sasquatch-sighting shot is genius.

This news clip is also pretty cool:



Also the movie's production company issues an 8-bit video game where you can fight as one of the Minutemen against Moloch and his henchmen. It's a nifty little link, and a fun way to add a bit more depth to the Watchmen universe. The link is provided here

A faithful recreation of The Watchmen's alternate reality, a reality where Nixon is King and God is blue, goes a long way of making me think this may be the first film adaption of an Alan Moore work that doesn't suck. I'm willing to gamble the price of a movie ticket, and I'm hoping my homies are willing to gamble with me.



So, in March, I would like to plan the Watch-"Men's Night Out" for all the Dad's. You've got 17 day's 'til the movie's release (March 6, 2009), so you have ample time to alert the wives. Opening night is going to be at biatch, so let's plan for a matinee on opening weekend, either Saturday or Sunday March 7th or 8th (makes it easier on the wives too).

Shoot me an email if you are interested (Eric, you gotta let me know when you guys coming to visit so that you can participate). Cheers

Foreign Matter

List of the movies I've watched so far since January 1, 2009:

La Mome / La Vie en Rose

A superb biopic from French director Olivier Dahan about the life and times of the legendary Edith Piaf. The film stars Marion Cotilliard, who was awarded the Academy Award for Best Actress last year for her efforts.



Cotialliard's performance is mesmerizing, and it's tremendous how she uses every bit of body language, make-up, and voice-talent to bring Edith Piaf to life.

Crappy Rating Rhyme: La Vie en Rose certainly won't make you doze!

Lust/Caution

A glib analysis of Ang Lee's canon would be to say that he keeps remaking Romeo and Juliet, i.e., his movies all have the following elements:

• two people fall in love/lust/passion... whatever...;
• each person is bound to an entrenched lifestyle governed by societal and/or familial traditions;
• their shared love in in major conflict to their life, and because of that...
• their love is doomed;
• one of the lovers dies and/or runs away to the South American jungle in an effort to control his Hulk powers;
• the other lover tries to come to terms with the ruined affair (ultimately futile)

Thing is, he does it so well. And aside from the unfortunate detour that was the Hulk, he keeps getting better and better.



A lot of the buzz about this movie comes from the explicit the sex scenes, and holy crap, are they scorching. Hint: If you like sex scenes where you see the guy's ball sac, prepare yourself to see some ball sac! Kudos to Tang Wei and Tony Leung who demonstrate such bravery in their performances. And not only in the sex scenes. There is a raw nakedness to the performances throughout the film. It's quite astonishing

Crappy Rating System: Who has two thumbs and likes Ang Lee movies? THIS GUY!!!
(I couldn't rhyme "caution".)

Sukiayki Western: Django

Director Takashi Miike is well known for his arresting cinematic mash-ups. In Audition, he mixed light-romantic comedy with psychological horror. With Ichi the Killer he mixed a Japanese Yakuza epic with... well horror again in such a disturbing manner part of me wishes I could un-watch that movie. With Sukiyaki Western: Django he mixes the spaghetti western with a samurai epic.

I, soooo, wanted to like this film. A Japanese film homage where all the actors speak English. Sound like it was right up my alley. But instead of kitchy-cool, the movie was like to dialogue: Without context, hard to understand and out of sync. Still, it has one of the best final scenes in movie history. Yep, even better than Deathproof. For those of you who don't like spoilers, beware the following clip:



Cool, huh? I just with the whole movie was like that.

Crappy Rating Rhyme: I'm sorry but Django is a no-go.

Misc:

• I really liked Zack and Miri Make a Porno. It was sweet and disgusting at the same time. Pure Kevin Smith.
• I'm bumping Q-Tip's The Renaissance on the I-Pod quite regularly know. It's the return of soulful, creative and innovative hip-hop.
• I tried reading The Last Temptation of Christ, but like the Bible itself, I lost patience with the language. The Scorsese film is superb, though!
• Kazuo Koike and Goseki Kojima's Samurai Executioner is fantastic. A sobering and sometimes very graphic meditation on justice and punishment. Not recommended for every reader. Pick this one up using your own discretion.
  

Prop 8: The Musical

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

If you can't see the above musical, just go to FunnyorDie.com and search for "Prop 8: The Musical".

All Time Best: The Most Important Question Ever!

History is made. Barack Obama is President-Elect of the United States of America.



Now even though the hard-won, grueling presidential campaign is over, it's time to get down to business. It's time to ask some tough questions. And here is the most important question to be asked during Barack Obama's tenure as Commander-In- Chief:

Who is going to play him in the Inevitable Spike Lee Joint?

Here are my top five suggestions

5) Fred Arminsen



Okay, I only suggested this guy to immediately rule him out. Much has been made this year about Tina Fey's imitation of Sarah Palin during this season's episodes of Saturday Night Live. I would like to voice my utter disgust with Fred Arminsen's imitation of Obama. It just sucks

Really.

And it also proves a personal point of mine. Comedians should not be chosen to portray Obama in the Inevitable Spike Lee Joint. No Chris Rock. No Jamie Foxx. Nuh-uh!

Why?

Because Barack Obama isn't funny.

He may be eloquent and inspiring at the podium, and he's obviously going to go down in history as a great president, but he just plain ain't funny. In fact, the few verbal gaffes he made during the campaign were during times he was trying to tell a joke.

Next choice.

4) Denzel Washington.



Denzel could do a great job portraying a President Obama. Well, at least the young Denzel, the "Dark Gable" Denzel from A Soldier's Story and The Mighty Quinn would do very well. The Denzel from Man on Fire and American Gangster is just too plain old

3) Chiwetel Ejiofor




Superb actor! This guy would to a great job. Only problem: Nobody knows who he is. You need a major star for the Inevitable Spike Lee Joint

2) Don Cheadle



Personally, the best choice acting wise. This guy has a reputation amongst other great actors like Brad Pitt and George Clooney. They call him "The Scene Stealer", out of great respect. He always brings his "A" game. Just take a look at his debut as "Mouse" in Devil in A Blue Dress. He was so good that even Denzel had a hard time keeping up

1) Will Smith



Although I personally like Cheadle, Will Smith will inevitably play Barack Obama in the Inevitable Spike Lee Joint fir several reasons:

a)He's a major, bankable movie star, arguably the biggest;
b)Just the promise of him playing the role would put many butts in the seat;
c)After watching Pursuit of Happyness (a must-see for any new father), I really have a soft spot for guy;and
d)No need for make-up, ear-wise...

Now imagine if Will Smith plays Obama as the first Black President to save the planet from and alien invasion... that would be the most popular movie ever! I vote James Cameron to direct!

Also, since I'm in a 'blogging mood, I would like to offer Barack Obama the following unsolicited advice:

1) Refrain from visiting anywhere south of Maryland for the first year or so. Let those people chill out for a bit and get used to the idea...

2) If there is still a convertible in the Presidential motor pool, get rid of it.

3) Whatever you do, don't try to write your own jokes. In fact, forget telling any jokes. Just keep on with the eleven minute inspirational speeches.

4) Don't be like Bush and screw Canada out of the traditional first presidential visit to another country. I mean, even though we couldn't officially do anything about it, it just plan pisses us off!

5) Listen, man... for the first few weeks or so, the White House press corps will give you a really hard time. They do that to everybody. Back in the Clinton days, they literally made George Stephanopoulos cry. Just hang in there and ride the wave...

6) Listen, man... in the first few months or so, some terrorist whack job will try to give you a hard time. They do that to everybody. Send Sam Jackson over there to get medieval on their asses...

7) The American people need to have confidence in the economy right quick. To help promote spending, I highly recommend hiring Puff Daddy and the Wu-Tang Clan to your economic cabinet as soon as possible. The resulting demand for diamond-clad spinning rims would turn the US auto industry around in a hot minute.

8) Legalize weed.

9) Legalize gay marriages.

10)You might as well start smoking cigarettes again. Being President is stressful and you need some sort of vice to release the pressure. As far as I am concerned, smoking is much better for your approval ratings than banging unstable interns.