History is made. Barack Obama is President-Elect of the United States of America.
Now even though the hard-won, grueling presidential campaign is over, it's time to get down to business. It's time to ask some tough questions. And here is the most important question to be asked during Barack Obama's tenure as Commander-In- Chief:
Who is going to play him in the Inevitable Spike Lee Joint?
Here are my top five suggestions
5) Fred Arminsen
Okay, I only suggested this guy to immediately rule him out. Much has been made this year about Tina Fey's imitation of Sarah Palin during this season's episodes of Saturday Night Live. I would like to voice my utter disgust with Fred Arminsen's imitation of Obama. It just sucks
Really.
And it also proves a personal point of mine. Comedians should not be chosen to portray Obama in the Inevitable Spike Lee Joint. No Chris Rock. No Jamie Foxx. Nuh-uh!
Why?
Because Barack Obama isn't funny.
He may be eloquent and inspiring at the podium, and he's obviously going to go down in history as a great president, but he just plain ain't funny. In fact, the few verbal gaffes he made during the campaign were during times he was trying to tell a joke.
Next choice.
4) Denzel Washington.
Denzel could do a great job portraying a President Obama. Well, at least the young Denzel, the "Dark Gable" Denzel from A Soldier's Story and The Mighty Quinn would do very well. The Denzel from Man on Fire and American Gangster is just too plain old
Superb actor! This guy would to a great job. Only problem: Nobody knows who he is. You need a major star for the Inevitable Spike Lee Joint
2) Don Cheadle
Personally, the best choice acting wise. This guy has a reputation amongst other great actors like Brad Pitt and George Clooney. They call him "The Scene Stealer", out of great respect. He always brings his "A" game. Just take a look at his debut as "Mouse" in Devil in A Blue Dress. He was so good that even Denzel had a hard time keeping up
1) Will Smith
Although I personally like Cheadle, Will Smith will inevitably play Barack Obama in the Inevitable Spike Lee Joint fir several reasons:
a)He's a major, bankable movie star, arguably the biggest; b)Just the promise of him playing the role would put many butts in the seat; c)After watching Pursuit of Happyness (a must-see for any new father), I really have a soft spot for guy;and d)No need for make-up, ear-wise...
Now imagine if Will Smith plays Obama as the first Black President to save the planet from and alien invasion... that would be the most popular movie ever! I vote James Cameron to direct!
Also, since I'm in a 'blogging mood, I would like to offer Barack Obama the following unsolicited advice:
1) Refrain from visiting anywhere south of Maryland for the first year or so. Let those people chill out for a bit and get used to the idea...
2) If there is still a convertible in the Presidential motor pool, get rid of it.
3) Whatever you do, don't try to write your own jokes. In fact, forget telling any jokes. Just keep on with the eleven minute inspirational speeches.
4) Don't be like Bush and screw Canada out of the traditional first presidential visit to another country. I mean, even though we couldn't officially do anything about it, it just plan pisses us off!
5) Listen, man... for the first few weeks or so, the White House press corps will give you a really hard time. They do that to everybody. Back in the Clinton days, they literally made George Stephanopoulos cry. Just hang in there and ride the wave...
6) Listen, man... in the first few months or so, some terrorist whack job will try to give you a hard time. They do that to everybody. Send Sam Jackson over there to get medieval on their asses...
7) The American people need to have confidence in the economy right quick. To help promote spending, I highly recommend hiring Puff Daddy and the Wu-Tang Clan to your economic cabinet as soon as possible. The resulting demand for diamond-clad spinning rims would turn the US auto industry around in a hot minute.
8) Legalize weed.
9) Legalize gay marriages.
10)You might as well start smoking cigarettes again. Being President is stressful and you need some sort of vice to release the pressure. As far as I am concerned, smoking is much better for your approval ratings than banging unstable interns.
"Mr. TWIT, do you think that it is healthy to be on Facebook everyday?"
And my, oh, so witty answer was...:
"In my opinion it doesn't take long to get addicted to Facebook. They call it "Crackbook" for a reason. You know how Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, etc.)? I quite honestly think there are five stages of Facebook:
Stage 1) Dismissal "Facebook, schmascebook, I don't care to get involved."
Stage 2) Curiosity "Alright, maybe I'll try it for a little bit. I'll limit the amount of personal information I put on the site and keep my friends list tres small.."
Stage 3) Elation "Wow, look how large my friends list is! I must be really popular! This is great! I can post personal, private family photos for everyone to see! Wow! Let's see if I can contact that girl who was my best friend back it grade five. I wonder why we stopped hanging out?"
Stage 4) Realization "Why am I checking this thing every day? This is crazy! Who posted that picture of me mooning that police car? Why is that girl from grade five posting weird Scientology crap on my wall? Now I remember why we stopped hanging out... she was friggin' annoying!"
Stage 5) Acceptance "You know, if I ignore certain people long enough, they stop trying to contact me. Its like evolutionary theory... it all works out. I even went two whole days before logging in. For that, I deserve a doughnut!"
As a movie fan and dedicated father-to-be, I've been discussing/describing movie plots with my unborn child, in utero. But as we all know, movies are made for watching, not for describing. So I present to you a list of movies, I feel, any child of a movie fan should immediately watch and gain an appreciation for (Is that even a proper sentence?).
5) Genre: Action Raiders of the Lost Ark
The first movie my father took me and my brother to see in a real, honest-to-goodness movie theatre was to see Raiders of the Lost Ark. Obviously he didn't screen it first because the face melting scene at the end really messed us all up. But see, the best thing about Raiders is that it has an almost pitch perfect mix of action, comedy, romance and horror. That combination is why so many of us remember it with such fondness.
4) Genre: Animation
My Neighbour Totoro
There's only one name for animation allowed in my house: "Miyazaki"!
Ummm... wait, only two names for animation allowed in my house: "Miyazaki" and "Pixar"!
Ummm... hold up a second, only three names: "Miyazaki", "Pixar" and "Chuck Jones"!
A little over a year ago, while I was hammering away at another blog on sheer crap-titude of the movie 300 , I put forth a list of rules that make a superhero movie successful. One of those rules was that the supervillain had to be somewhat sympathetic. The idea is that a bad guy you can sympathize with is the scariest kind of bad guy, because if you can relate their point of view, you are easier to seduce, and thus emotionally complicit with some of the acts they commit. Like all rules, this one should be tested rigorously for validity, so I submit to you the profile of three villains making some waves in recent pop culture as case study for the Sympathetic Supervillain rule.
Case Study #1 - Dr Horrible, from Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog.
Pro's
good singer;
sweetly goofy;
has nice taste in women;
has an underdog quality that make you wanna root for him;
wants to change the world
Con's
wants to change the world, but through evil;
his arch nemesis is a pretty-boy, prima-donna lunkhead;
embrace of video blogging makes it easy to foil evil schemes;
has supremely bad timing with women.
It's not hard to sympathize with Dr. Horrible. Even though he's the bad guy, we still root for him, because he... is Us. He's the put-downable, the down-trodded-ed, the nerd who always gets beaten and never gets the girl. At some point in our lives (oh, like in high school, maybe?) we've all been Dr. Horrible.
We get him.
We are him.
That's what makes the first two episodes of Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog so charming (the acting, and song-writing should be commended). And that's what makes the last episode so sad. The turn of events in the last episode gets the viewer, because the viewer has invested a lot of sympathy in... with... Dr. Horrible, we root for him as the underdog, and then in the final act, we feel partially responsible with the consequences of his actions.
Overall the series is short, but really affecting, and as a villain, Dr. Horrible is pretty compelling.
Case Study #2 - Dexter, from Dexter.
Pro's
really, really clean;
really, really good at his job;
really, really good boyfriend, brother and father-surrogate;
really, really good with scalpels and power tools.
Con's
serial killer in his spare time;
has a dark raging black hole of a soul that is periodically filled by the torment of his victims;
lives in Miami.
Dexter: forensics expert by day, serial killer by night. But get this... he's a good serial killer. He only goes after others like him.
Funny enough, the things that makes Dexter a great killer are the same things we look for in a comic superhero. He's charming, efficient and good at bringing evil-doer's to justice. Well... only if you consider "justice" to be torture, dismemberment and burial in a deep sea grave. He has his mild-mannered alter ego (quirky but efficient blood-splatter expert for the Miami police by day), he has a costume (when Dexter hunts, he's prone to wearing black jeans, black knit-shirts and black hoodies), and a nifty utility belt (his medical tools are housed in a really nice, tan, leather satchel). In many ways the conceit of the TV show Dexter is a deconstruction of the typical superhero story. The tension in the story lies not in rationalizing the various violent acts Dexter commits. It lies in the common superhero trope: Will Dexter's boss, family, girlfriend find out what he does in the dark watches of the night?
We sympathize with Dexter through his plight. He, like we, has secrets that we fear might alarm polite society. The funny thing is, as each episode goes by, we come to realize that the other people in Dexter's world, his sister, his co-workers, his lover, maybe even his father, have deep dark secrets that pale next his his own.
Case Study #3 - The Joker, from The Dark Knight.
Pro's
uh... none!
Con's
designed to evoke your antipathy;
twitching, asymmetrical posture
diseased facial paint and scarring,
dissonant voice from Perdition,
greasy hair (you can practically see the bugs flying around amongst the strands).
Despite the Con's, for some reason, people love the Joker. He's sexy. Hell, even Batman can find it in himself to kill the him, despite the fact the Joker more than deserves it.
The question is why. Why is the Joker so compelling?
Maybe because we're attracted to power. Maybe we're attracted to the dark things. The Joker amoral, anarchic and totally devoid of simple human empathy. He is the Batman's complete psychological Other. While Batman has a rational origin, the Joker is irrationality brought life. It's as if Gotham City itself organically hatched a maniacal Dionysus in response the Batman Apollonian existence. In other words, The Joker is the city, the environment balancing it's scales. Maybe we're attracted to Joker because were attracted to the same irrationality that resides within us. Maybe the Batman saves the Joker in the end because he... (read: "we")... need him.
To paraphrase Alan Moore, without the Joker, the Batman is just some nutcase who shows up to a brawl wearing a mask with pointy ears. Keep in mind even while fighting to uphold societies laws, the Batman, a vigilante, breaks them. The notion of superheroism cannot support itself for long unless you got some really, crazy, clown distracting the general population from the fact that you are just a slightly less crazy goon.
So my friends, send in the clowns! Send in the charming killers, the hatchers of evil-plots, and the doer's of manic misdeeds. Call them "villains" if you must, but know this... to someone, somewhere... they are the true hero's.
My orignial plan was to blog about about the following:
2008 being the Summer of the Superhero (because of Iron Man,The Incredible Hulk, the new Batman, and Dr Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog, etc.); and
A deconstruction of the role of the Supervillan, by comparing Neil Patrick Harris' "Dr. Horrible" to Heath Ledger's "Joker".
But right now I am a bit dissolusioned about discussing anything Batman related because of the Christian Bale arrest, so, instead, I present to you a review of YouTube's Best Remixes.
Number 5 - "Shining"
The Shining directed by Cameron Crowe instead of Stanley Kubrick. Apparantly the key difference between horror and feel-good family comedy is putting Peter Gabriel's "Solsbury Hill" in your soundtrack.
Number 4 - "Brokeback to the Future"
This makes me giggle.
Number 3 - "ROFLMAO"
A Muppet Show classic remixed by World of Warcraft. Cute.
Number 2 - "Scary Mary"
Mary Poppins = Devil Spawn.
Number 1 - "Bert and Ernie tries Gangsta Rap"
And the video that inspired this blog in the first place. Thank you AV Club:Videocracy! Bert and Ernie represent that Seseme Street, son!
Hello folks! Time for another review of the comics I'm reading this month. As always, these comics will be evaluated on what I will call, "The Jeneric Scale". Basically, I'll review the comic and then let you know if it is worthy to be read by either Jenni or Eric, or both, or neither.
1) Wanted by Mark Millar and J.G. Jones. Top Cow Comics
Wesley Gibson suffers a million little humiliations every day. His job sucks, his co-workers hate him, his girlfriend is sleeping with his best friend and he's bullied every day on the way home by the neighborhood toughs. All this changes when he finds out that he's the sole heir of a superhuman assassin, and he's been recruited to carry on the family business.
This is the avatar of adolescent escapist fantasy. It's violent, juvenile and amoral. It's also some of the best comic writing of late, with a premise to die for. Mark Millar's tale was inspired by his bigger brother, who one day told the younger Mark that all his favourite comic book hero's once existed in real life, but the were all killed by the supervillans. The sheer nihilism presented in this book proves that sibling trauma makes fertile ground for future writers. This book is the logical extension of the media changing concepts introduced in Alan Moore's The Watchmen and Frank Millar's The Dark Knight Returns. The ending, which consists of the main character breaking the fourth wall, is a doozy.
Suggested for (Jenni or Eric?): Neither, actually. It's a good book, but I'm not taking any responsibility for recommending this book to anybody. They're going to have to approach this one on their own.
PS: The movie version of Wanted was released this weekend with Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy. Slate.com reviews highly recommend the movie for S&M aficionados. Something tells me that this ain't no "date movie".
2) Y:The Last ManVolume 10: Whys and Wherefores by Brian K. Vaughan and Pia Guerra. Vertigo Comics
Brilliant end to a brilliant miniseries. The best road adventure since the Wizard of Oz. I've been waiting for this book to come out for a long while and although I have some minor problems with the plotting and pacing of some of the last issues, overall the reading experience was quite satisfactory.
Suggested for: Jenni, although I am betting she already got herself a copy by now.
3) Path of the Assassin by Kazuo Koike & Goseki Kojima
It took me a while to get into this book. A somewhat fictionalized historic account of the rise of Japan's Tokugawa empire, this series is another entry into Koike's and Kojima's Edo period books (i.e., Lone Wolf and Cub and Samurai Assassin). Full of political intrigue and suspense. Don't confuse this one for a kids book. It deals with adult situations and the depictions of violence and sex may not be appropriate for everybody. But think of it as a full-blooded presentation of The Art of War.
Suggested for: Eric. He'll appreciate the details.
4) Planet Hulk by Greg Pak. Marvel Comics
I'm having so much fun with this title. Basically a retelling of Spartacus, except with the Hulk. Each issue gets better and better. The writing is top notch. Hulk titles haven't been this good since Todd McFarlane took the reins way back in the late 80's.
Recommended for: Both Jenni and Eric. Because HULK SMASH!!!
5) Secret Invasion by Brian Michael Bendis and Leinil Yu. Marvel Comics
Ever since the days of Crisis on the Infinite Earths, both DC and Marvel have presented an annual summer cross-over event that shakes up their individual universes. Last year Marvel had the lackluster Civil War storyline, that didn't do much other than to piss of fans. This year's Secret Invasion totally makes up for the previous crap.
The synopsis: A race of shape-shifting aliens called the Skrulls have infiltrated all of Earths defenses and has initiated a hostile takeover of our planet. They mean to wipe out all humans and repopulate Earth as their new throne-world. Normally Earth's Mightiest Superheroes would nip this in the bud, except, some of them are Skrulls in disguise. These sleeper agents have successfully reaped the seeds of doubt sown amongst the heroes during the Civil War crisis, and now nobody knows who to trust.
Usually these summer cross-over events are just a marketing ploy to get fans to buy all the associated titles. But this time around, the core Secret Invasion title is creepily suspenseful and very satisfying. You don't need to buy all the cross-overs to make this one work.
Suggested for: Both Jenni and Eric. Because it's just that good!
In the beginning, God created the action hero in his own image. And when I say "God", I mean that Old Testament God. He of the plagues and the burning bushes. Thus, John Wayne was born.
"Duke". The All-American Icon. The man, who according to movie history, practically single-handedly tamed the Wild West and won the second World War, armed with a six shooter and a wild right hook. Duke was big in stature, and had the chiseled, square jaws befitting a classic hero. The avatar of everything we're lead to believe about manhood. Duke performed in a world completely devoid of grey areas. Black and White only. The bad guys either wore black hats or spoke and English-accent that stood for "German". The good guys were... well Duke himself. Everybody else was sheep. And thus God was pleased.
But Man had a different idea. Man created a new action hero in his own image. His name was Humphrey Bogart.
Bogie was short, scarred and spoke with a lisp. He didn't look like a classic hero, in fact in the early part of his career he was often cast as the bad guy. Murderers and gangster roles. Bogie lived in a world of grey, and knew what it took to survive. And that's what what made him so belivable to audiences. He was a survivor first, and quite often he was reluctant to demonstrate any heroics. He would only act when he was forced to betray a deep underlying code of honor.
So here we have the two symbols of of the modern action hero. The Duke's iconic approach has been successfully co-opted by other actors such as Arnold Schwarzenegger (Commando, Predator) , Sylvester Stallone (Rambo, Rocky) and Stephen Segal (Hard to Kill, Above the Law, and a bunch of other crappy movies with three word titles). Bogie's role as the conflicted, reluctant hero has been appropriated by Bruce Willis (Die Hard), Mel Gibson (The Road Warrior, Lethal Weapon) and Brad Pitt (Legends of the Fall). The purpose of this blog is to discuss three movies in my DVD library that demonstrate the evolution of the action hero from the old fashioned, All-American icon, to the more interesting and believable reluctant hero.
Big Trouble In Little China, 1986. Director, John Carpenter.
This DVD contains one of the best audio commentaries in movie history. Director John Carpenter and lead actor Kurt Russell's discussion is amiable and friendly, more a casual chat between two old-dog Hollywood insiders that not only is fun to listen to, but chock full of information for film fans. For example, Russell modeled his character, Jack Burton, after the Duke himself. The speech pattern, over-confident swagger and traditional, All-American mind-set.
But the movie undercuts all of this with a simple staggering fact. Jack Burton's excess of ego and limited smarts blinds him to the fact that he's not the "hero". The true hero of the movie is his pal Wang Chi, while Jack is an unwitting second banana. The movie is a satire of the jingoistic, over-wrought action blockbusters that plagued us during the 1980's. Jack honestly thinks he's Rambo, but really he's Elmer Fudd. Not once, during the whole movie does he clue in.
Pure genius.
This movie should be considered the first step in the evolution of the modern action hero because here is where we saw all the faults with the classic hero paradigm. In the classic hero paradigm, the image is valued more than the true reality. If you dig just a little bit behind the image, you quickly see that there is nothing real behind enough to support it. Sure, John Wayne played a great soldier, but did you know he never enlisted? He didn't outright dodge the draft, but he allowed himself to hide behind his celebrity status to avoid serving during WWII. Hell, even Bogie enlisted (he was a Navy man). The Duke was just an Iowa-boy, whose real first name was "Marion".
There is a scene in Big Trouble that encapsulates this whole concept of image over substance. In the moments immediately prior the final, climactic, battle of the movie. Jack Burton stands on the ready line with a whole army of good guys, facing the enemy hordes. The good guys shout their war cry, and Jack, caught up in the extacy of the approaching battle fires his machine gun in the air. The bullets from the machine gun tears apart chucks of of brick from an overhead arch. The bricks strike Jack in the head, knocking him out stone cold. Thus while the rest of his buddies battle, Jack spends most of the final battle flat on his back.
Again, pure genius.
The Bourne Identity, 2002. Director, Doug Liman.
The Bourne Identity is all about duality. Everything you think you know about the movie is different from the actuality. It's an action movie, but is has more intelligence than most of the drama's made during the same year. It's a cold war era thriller, but something about the movie makes it resonate with post-911 political intrigue.
This duality is expressed by the character of Jason Bourne. The brain-washing gives Bourne the abilities of the classic mythical hero. When faced with danger, Bourne thinks fast, acts fast, is superhumanly strong and undeniably capable. But anytime the character is faced with emotion, he's lost, indecisive and weak.
So here, in one character, we have elements of the two hero archetypes. We have a man programmed to be super-human, just like John Wayne, but his amnesia, his lack of identity, actually makes him weak and conflicted and human, just like Bogie. If you think about it, it's quite easy to understand why the franchise is so popular. With Bourne, we get a two-fer, thus pleasing both God and Man.
Children of Men, 2006. Director, Alfonso Cuarón.
Theo Faron, the character played by Clive Owen is the new breed of action hero, perfect for the post-911 world. Theo is us, the everyman. He is weak, he is compromised, and he is quite happy to look the other way while the world slowly turns to shit. This guy is stripped bare, he is the antithesis of any hero we've ever seen in the movies. He's not proactive, the guy doesn't have superpowers or wicked fighting skills, and in seeming disregard to the most basic action movie trope, the guy never picks up a gun. Not once does he ever touch a gun during the whole movie. To further demonstrate his symbolic emasculation there is a long sequence where he has to resort to wearing flip flops for footwear. I mean, flip-flops, man. Even Jack Burton had some cool-ass cowboy boots.
External circumstances force Theo to make the transition from sheep to reluctant hero. And the funny thing is, that the moment he decides to be proactive, these same circumstances conspire to make things way more difficult for him than necessary.
Take for instance the scene where he, Kee and Miram make their escape from the farm. The car he chooses to leave in cannot start by the ignition alone. It has to be rolled up to speed and then jump started. Thus you get one of the most riveting, suspenseful chase scenes ever recorded where Theo has to push a car loaded with two women up and down a mud path while being chased by a half-dozen armed terrorists. He pushes, the car rolls and he gains a bit of lead from the bad guys, but he hits a mud patch, and the car slows, too slow for the engine to turn over. So he jumps out an begins to push. Miriam jumps in the front seat and turns the key, accidentally hitting the brakes at the same time, further slowing the car and still the engine won't turn. Theo yells at her to release the brakes, the car starts to roll faster, but the terrorists have almost caught up. Luckily they hit a steep grade and the car rolls even faster, but Theo, is so exhausted he can hardly catch up. And on it goes.
Children of Men is not only a great post-911 thriller, it's also a revitalization of the sci-fi genre. It forgoes the current interpretation of sci-fi (laser guns and space jump suits) and presents us with a more respectful approach to the genre, rooted in tradition of John Whydam. This depiction of the future feels real, because it's a plausible extrapolation of current conditions.
The heroics demonstrated by Theo, particularly at the end of the film feels equally real. An ordinary man placed in an extraordinary situation. He has the same chances of success or failure that anyone of us would have in that same situation. He may not look like a hero, and most times he hardly acts like a hero... but despite all his weakness, he approaches a point where he has to make a choice. It's at that point where he, and we by extension, can fleetingly approach our truest and noblest potential. Sometimes, my friends, that is all it takes to become a hero.
I have a friend who has sworn personal vow against Leonardo DiCaprio. Apparently, some time ago, she saw an episode of "Growing Pains" on TV, saw Leo act (way back when he was a kid) and thought he was so awful that she refused to watch anything else with him in it. It's a shame because watching Leo (as Howard Hughes) descend into a bottomless pit of compulsion, madness and despair is quite entertaining.
Also Cate Blanchette as Katharine Hepburn is divine!
Before Sunrise, 1995. Before Sunset, 2004. Director: Richard Linklater.
We all are familiar with the saying "Love at first sight". It's a common romantic pastiche, but I don't really hold to it. In my experience the truest test of love is the conversation. People I know tend to fall in love during those rambling 3-hour long, late night talks you have with your significant other at some early point in the relationship. It's at that point you start thinking: "Hey, I could spent my life with this person." And why not, 'cause when you get down to it, a long-term relationship is basically one long, never-ending conversation. Divorce is just another way of realizing you have nothing else of value to say to one another.
Before Sunrise and Before Sunset is about two people falling in love during a conversation lasting two nights over nine years.
What I really like is how that conversation evolves. In the first movie, the two characters Jesse (played by Ethan Hawke) and Celine (played by hot-ass Julie Delpy) meet on a train travelling towards Vienna. As they initially engage in their conversation, the dialogue subtly off-key, as if they are waiting to speak instead of listening to each other. But the point where they connect is when Jesse speaks of having a vision of his recently deceased grandmother. Later on in the movie, Celine cites that monologue as the point she really begins to fall for Jesse.
It's interesting how in Before Sunset, a situation with Cecile's grandmother eventually has significant consequences later on in the relationship. The one thing that 'causes her to connect with Jesse is the same thing that causes a major disconnect six months later. And it's also interesting how much chemistry the two characters seem to have, and how their connection survives a 9-year gap in between both movies.
I have three favorite scenes in the sequel. 1) The scene on the boat where Jesse drops the polite, trite facade and asks the question that we, the audience, have been waiting so long to ask; 2) The scene in the limo where Celine loses it; and 3) the very last scene in Celine's apartment (especially Jesse's last line). For some reason, my wife, Teresa, thought that the movie ended on an ambiguous note. For me, the movie couldn't be more "biguous". I think most guys would agree choice between catching a flight to Newark or watching the bouncing joys of Julie Delpy's Parisian butt, ain't no choice at all.
...Except for me, 'cause I like Teresa's butt better.
Last Wednesday, I was struck with an awesome desire to do something active coupled with an equally awesome desire to do nothing that would be considered constructive. Normal people call this feeling "boredom". Therefore, I decided to alphabetize my DVD collection. I cannot tell you how much I thoroughly enjoyed the task.
As I entered the last DVD in my Mennonite-built spinning wooden rack (the movie was Unbreakable, if you must know), I wondered how cool it would be to re-screen all my DVD's in alphabetical order. And how even more cool would it be to 'blog about it. (And by "cool" I mean "weird and nerdy"). Thus began what I cheerfully designate "The Alphabet Project".
Aliens, 1986. Director: James Cameron.
Upon re-screening this movie, I was amazed at how badass it still is. Made before the CGI era, all special effects are practical, but to me the movie is still very fresh. And although I know just about every line and beat of the movie, it remains very scary.
Sigourney Weaver as "Ellen Ripley" was wonderful. Women in sci-fi are often given token supporting roles as either some sort of space hooker or militarized, masculine-ized, pseudo-male. Ellen Ripley is a godsend of a role, a resourceful sci-fi hero who's strength is linked to the nurturing, motherly instincts that the Newt character brings forth. This makes her a formidable warrior and compelling character, while still maintaining her femininity.
Also compelling, Carrie Henn as "Newt". In her early scenes, that kid portrays a thousand-yard stare that so effective, it makes me suspicious of what kind of prompting James Cameron had to do to get her to get her to look so real and truthful. All in all, the movie remains the best out of the whole Alien saga. It is so good that I refuse to consider the following movie installments as canon. Screw David Fincher and Jean-Pierre Jeunet. In my mind, Aliens 3 and 4 do not exist until James Cameron directs them.
Almost Famous, 2000. Director: Cameron Crowe.
It's hard not to enjoy this movie. Sweet cast, good music and kinda wistful.
At times it can get a bit schmaltzy, but in the end, the schmaltz works. Has one of my favourite bits of movie dialogue:
Lester Bangs: What, are you like the star of your school? William Miller: They hate me. Lester Bangs: You'll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle.
also:
Lester Bangs: Aw, man. You made friends with them. See, friendship is the booze they feed you. They want you to get drunk on feeling like you belong. William Miller: Well, it was fun. Lester Bangs: They make you feel cool. And hey. I met you. You are not cool. William Miller: I know. Even when I thought I was, I knew I wasn't. Lester Bangs: That's because we're uncool. And while women will always be a problem for us, most of the great art in the world is about that very same problem. Good-looking people don't have any spine. Their art never lasts. They get the girls, but we're smarter. William Miller: I can really see that now. Lester Bangs: Yeah, great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love... and let's face it, you got a big head start. William Miller: I'm glad you were home. Lester Bangs: I'm always home. I'm uncool. William Miller: Me too! Lester Bangs: The only true currency in this bankrupt world if what we share with someone else when we're uncool.
I truly wished I had someone to tell me stuff like this when I was in high school. It would have saved me so much useless angst.
Next movies: [The] Aviator Before Sunrise Before Sunset
There Will Be Blood, directed by Paul Thomas Anderson
The reason I'm writing this blog is because my friend Grant wrote a review on it on his Facebook page, and I want to "one-up" him. How funny is it that the movie we both saw together, and both decided to comment on is about a man who's over-weening sense of pride, competition and greed eventually leads to his total moral destruction. I would say would propose that this is somewhat ironic, except, I really don't know what the literal meaning of "irony" is. I think I'll look it up...
There has been enough ink spilled over the greatness of this movie to replenish a southern Californian oil field, and really you're not going to hear much different here. I would dare say this film is my generations The Godfather. Friggin' awesome.
This is the fourth movie I've watched in as many weeks that has greed as a story central element. Wall Street, Goodfellas, Casino and There Will Be Blood are pretty damn apt representations of the effect that greed has exhibited on human culture within my lifetime. From junk bonds to asset-backed credits, from the Savings & Loan scandal to the sub-prime mortgage meltdown, from Gordon Gekko, Henry Hill, "Ace" Rothstein, to Daniel Plainview, therein lies anything that everyone ever needs to know about the ultimate effects of greed.
In There Will Be Blood, Daniel Plainfield (as played by Daniel Day-Lewis) stakes out oil claims in early 1900's Southern California with his son, H.W. Plainfield, in tow.
But I think the key relationship in this movie, the overriding relationship that decides the fate of all characters, is the relationship between the elder Plainfield to his symbolic son Eli Sunday (as played by Paul Dano).
Both men could be kin. Both are driven by an overriding desire to acquire power, both exhibit a sense of contempt for other humans, both are unlikable human beings, but yet both have charisma powerful enough to attract others and the ability to bend their followers to their desires.
The one thing that separates them is that Daniel Plainview is self-aware. He knows he's a bastard, readily admits it, and struggles against every societal convention that forces him to pretend otherwise. Eli, on the other hand, does not even have the virtue of self-awareness. He's an opportunist who hides behind his theatre of faith. Plainview regards him with specific contempt. From his point of view, Eli builds his fortune by fleecing his flock, while trying to milk money and power from Daniel's fortune. A fortune that was built when Daniel, after a mining accident that resulted in a shattered knee, crawled on his back across miles of desert to the closest land registration office stake his first claim on an oil well.
The ultimate confrontation between these two characters is what makes this movie great. I will not even begin to spoil a climax that the movie builds with such masterful tension. I just recommend you watch There Will Be Blood, right away.
In a blatant rip-off of my blog (heh...), Empire Magazine issued its list for the Top 50 TV shows (link here). Here is my knee jerk reaction to the list.
50. Quantum Leap
No... nope. Don't like how this list started. Give me a "Flintstones" right here.
49. Prison Break
Never watched it.
48. Veronica Mars
Awsome show. Awsome writing and one of the best casts on TV. Much too smart for prime time.
I would have loved to have seen "Veronica Mars, F.B.I".
47. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Didn't like it.
46. Sex and the City
Liked it up until the season before the final season. It started off original but ended formulaic. I didn't like how the series wrapped up and the final episode was awful. Still I watched it to the very end. High points: Sarah Jessica Parker/Alanis Morisette lesbian lip-lock and any time Mirana had on screen sex. Yowza!
45. Farscape
Never watched it.
44. Cracker
Never watched it.
43. Star Trek
Awful drivel. Really don't like it.
42. Only Fools and Horses
Never watched it.
41. Band of Brothers
Technically this was a mini-series, but it was a tremendous piece of work. Teresa and I just recently enjoyed watching our DVD copy. The actors on this show deserve much more work than they are currently getting.
40. Life On Mars
Never watched it.
39. Monty Python’s Flying Circus
Revolutionary, strange and absurd in it's time.
Deserves higher honors except for the fact that the marketing of Monty Python has achived completely disgusting levels of selling out.
38. Curb Your Enthusiasm
Never watched it.
37. Star Trek: The Next Generation
Probably the best of all the iterations of Star Trek, but really, after "Firefly", all other space shows pale.
36. Father Ted
The show when they were competing in a song writing contest is a classic. Steve's been after me to get more into this show.
35. Alias
Never watched it, but it's on Zip List.
34. Frasier Crap.
33. CSI
Fucking crap.
32. Babylon 5
Blech!
31. Deadwood
Never watched it. I should Zip List this baby....
30. Dexter
Good show. Really, really creepy.
Watched the first three episodes and like it so far.
29. ER
Great, up until Anthony Edwards left. The show gets props for hiring the Indian girl from "Bend it Like Beckham" and dude who plays Malarky from "Band of Brothers" as regular cast members.
28. Fawlty Towers
Never watched it before. Probably never will...
27. Six Feet Under
Hand down one of the best, most-real, shows on TV. Damn near perfect acting, writing, production, cameras, sets, props.... a real work of art!
26. Red Dwarf
Amusing.
25. Futurama
Don't like it.
24. Twin Peaks
Overrated.
23. The Office
The British version is brilliant.
22. The Shield
Never watched it. Maybe I will if Ngai lets me borrow his copies.
21. Angel
All around good TV show. The season with Conner and Jasmine was not the best, but not as bad as everyone thinks it is. I miss it... lots...
20. Blackadder
Amusing.
19. Scrubs
Eh... not really that interested...
18. Arrested Development
Funny, funny show.
17. South Park
These guys never lost it. The show still rocks.
16. Doctor Who
Probably will never, ever watch it (sorry Sarah).
15. Heroes
Bleh...
14. Firefly
Sing it with me:
Take my love, Take my land, Take me where I cannot stand.
I don't care, I'm still free. You can't take the sky from me!
Take me out into the black, Tell 'em I ain't coming back,
Burn the land, Boil the sea, You can't take the sky from me!
Have no place I could be since I've found "Serenity" You can't take the sky from me...
Long live the Browncoats!
13. Battlestar Galactica
Definately on the Zip List.
12. Family Guy
Smart, funny...
11. Seinfeld
Isn't quite the same after the whole Michael Richards thing...
heh... heh...
10. SPACED
Never watched it.
9. THE X-FILES
Not my thing.
8. THE WIRE
Hope Ngai lets me borrow his DVD's.
7. FRIENDS
I know a lot of people like this show, and I did too, but really... There's way more ethnic people in New York. Where are the black, asians and hispanics. This was the Whitest show in Whitevania.
6. 24
Kiefer Sutherland is an arrogant blowhard. Man I hate that guy!
For contrast...
5. LOST
For Teresa's sake, I'll give this show another chance...
4. THE WEST WING
Teresa really liked it. I'm a fan of Aaron Sorkin, but after a while, the writing started to get formulaic and boring.
3. THE SOPRANOS
First four seasons were great TV.
The last two... genius...
2. BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Ah, Buffy... Seven of the best seasons in TV history.
1. THE SIMPSONS
Pretty good, but not as good as the "Flintstones". Skooodely-wah-waaaaahhh.
In most discussions of Martin Scorsese's canon, The Color of Money (1986) is often peripherally mentioned, as if the movie does not deserve the same respect granted to other Scorsese movies, such as Mean Streets, Goodfellas and the Oscar-winning The Departed. Martin Scorsese himself admits that the movie, a pairing of veteran Hollywood icon Paul Newman with the new superstar-in-the-making Tom Cruise, was made on the quick to finance his real passion project, The Last Temptation of Christ.
Still, I feel that The Color of Money is an admirable movie, an underrated but truly satisfying tale. I feel it deserves discussion, and should be defended a wonderful film in it's own right.
In The Color of Money, Paul Newman reprises the role of "Fast" Eddie Felson, the pool player from 1961's The Hustler. Yet, I think it would be wrong to consider the Scorsese's movie a sequel. It's too original, it stands firmly in its own shoes. To me, The Color of Money feels much like the continuation of a late night discussion with a good friend about great modern movies. It reminds me of that "after midnight, tired but too jazzed to go to sleep" feeling one gets while sitting in a 24-hr diner at 2:00 in the morning with a group of good friends, after spending all of Saturday night partying. The movie has it's own distinct energy.
As the movie begins we see that "Fast" Eddie Felson has long since quit playing pool, and has become a successful liquor salesman. His business keeps him in close periphery to pool playing, and every once-in-a-while, he acts as a stakehorse to the next breed of young pool hustlers. But, one of his players loses to Vincent, played by Tom Cruise. Vincent, at first, seems more interested in playing an arcade video game that 9-ball. But soon Eddie realizes that Vincent is a gifted natural, and is bemused and somewhat shocked when Vincent offers the broke, busted and humiliated pool hustler $20 to keep playing.
Eddie takes Vincent, and his girlfriend/handler Carmen (played beautifully by Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio) to dinner and offers them a deal. Eddie will stakehorse Vincent for six weeks on the road, in anticipation of a big-money 9-ball tournament in Atlantic City. For 60% of the winnings he will teach both Vincent and Carmen the in's and out's of pool hustling. The rest of the movie deals with the formation of a tense relationship between these three characters, and the betrayal and redemption of "Fast" Eddie Felson.
The move contains many enjoyable elements. It is a movie of its time. You can quickly tell that this is a movie made in the mid-80's, much like how you can tell Cool Hand Luke was definitely made in the 60's. But, the movie manages to maintain a certain integrity, and resists feeling dated, unlike earlier Tom Cruise vehicles like Risky Business, Top Gun and Taps. Also this movie can be seen as a ceremonial changing of guard between the veteran Hollywood icon and the younger, upstart but talented superstar.
But the best element about the film is how the character arcs of the two leads, cross and mirror each other. At the beginning of the film, Eddie is a jaded cynic, in counterpoint to Vincent's naive cockiness. While Vincent is willing to pay out cash just to entice people to play him, Eddie sees pool (and Vincent) as a means to an end. "Money won is ten times as sweet as money earned," Eddie preaches to his new but wayward apostle, and the veteran tries to steer the acolyte beyond nickle and dime hustles into big time cash, being sure to charge his 60% no matter the size of the pot.
Somewhere in the middle of the film, Eddie realizes to his horror that he's hustling himself as much as he's hustling Vincent. Eddie realizes that what attracts him to Vincent is not the kid's money-making potential. It's the kids talent. Scary, natural talent that younger "Fast" Eddie once had, but old Eddie has lost. Eddie wants to be the kid's equal, he want his game back. After falling for a con perpetrated by Forest Whitaker (in a great cameo), Eddie unceremoniously ditches Carmen and Vincent and begins his own quest to get regain his skills.
Eventually, Eddie earns his place in the Atlantic City tournament, and re-encounters Vincent and Carmen. The once cocky, naive kid is gone, innocence burned away by Eddie's betrayal. This new Vincent is calculating and ruthless. He no longer plays for the enjoyment of the game, he plays for cold hard cash, eventually dumping a game against his former teacher in order to increase the odds on the bets played on the backroom games. Eddie though discovers that his earlier cynicism was a mask, and his "play for cash" ethic was an elaborate self-con. Eddie rediscovers the love for the game, no, rather the love of the win. Eddie learns what the more innocent Vincent knew from the start. Money is just a symbol for the win, it's the win that always motivated Vincent, and it's that lasting, haunting whiff of the win that kept Eddie hanging around bars and pool halls. To be The Winner, Eddie has to beat the best player, and his redemption lies in Vincent's willingness to grant his former teacher his best game.
The movie offers much for a film lover. One could write a book on the sheer gravity-defying pompadour that Vincent wears throughout the film. Scorsese's use of Warren Zevon's song Werewolves of London as Vincent plays pool is a near perfect synthesis of a music and visuals. It is as iconic as the "ear scene" in Reservoir Dogs (Stuck in the Middle With You, Steelers Wheel), or the opening credit sequence for Trainspotting (Lust for Life, Iggy Pop).
Character actors should study Bill Cobbs's role as Orvis as a primer on how, with just one look, one can steal a scene from a burgeoning superstar. I haven't even begun to sing the praises for Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, and the strength and subtle vulnerability she brings to the role of Carmen. This movie is too full of riches just to be cast off as momentarily blip along Scorsese's road to Oscar glory.
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